“Real love is capable of being alone” – Osho

I started reading Osho’s books 2 years ago since I was so depressed. I made a choice, and with that choice I bet all my faith on a person, then I failed. Since faith is often misplaced. Lesson learnt. The worse thing is I can barely believe in my own decisions anymore.

“Think about this a little – your constant need for love. You want someone to love you, and if someone loves you you feel good. But what you don’t know is that the other loves you only because he wants you to love him. It is just like someone throwing bait to fish: he does not throw it for the fish to eat, he throws it to catch the fish. He does not want to give it to the fish, he only does it because he wants the fish. All the people that you see in love around you are only throwing bait to get love. They will throw the bait for a while, until the other person starts feeling that there is a possibility of getting love from this person. Then he too will start showing some love until eventually they realize that both of them are beggars. They have made a mistake: each had thought the other was an emperor. And in time each one realizes that he is not getting any love from the other, and that’s when the friction starts.”

I’ve learned to live a fuller life, a less demanding life.

For example, when I’m upset, I call my best-friend and she is busy with her own stuff and she can’t spare her time to listen to me. Is she selfish? Should I be angry with her? Or on Valentine day, my boyfriend doesn’t have any flower or fancy gift for me, should I be mad?

“Hence, it looks very contradictory, paradoxical, when stated in such a way: “Love brings aloneness.” You were thinking all along that love brings togetherness. I am not saying that it does not bring togetherness, but unless you are alone you cannot be together. Who is going to be together? Two persons are needed to be together, two independent persons are needed to be together. A togetherness will be rich, infinitely rich, if both the persons are utterly independent. If they are dependent on each other, it is not a togetherness – it is a slavery, it is a bondage.

If they are dependent on each other, clinging, possessive, if they don’t allow each other to be alone, if they don’t allow each other space enough to grow, they are enemies, not lovers; they are destructive to each other, they are not helping each other to find their souls, their beings. What kind of love is this? It may be just fear of being alone; hence they are clinging to each other. But real love knows no fear. Real love is capable of being alone, utterly alone, and out of that aloneness grows a togetherness.”

Normally there’s a Yes answer from my friends. I think it should be a No. Why? Because those people don’t have any responsibility to take care of my mood or to make me happy. I should be glad if they can schedule their busy life to stay with me. My best-friend – her duty is not to listen to me. I should feel grateful if she have time for me. Plus in case my boyfriend doesn’t show up with flowers or fancy stuff, the question for myself is whether I really need it at all. I don’t like flowers anyway. For me it’s a way of wasting money for spending on flowers on those special days since flowers on those days are ridiculously overpriced. Plus for me, flowers in a vase, no matter how fancy that vase is, are beautiful dying creatures, and it is just cruel.

Well, so that’s just my egoism. Because other girls have flowers, then I must have flowers even though deep inside I don’t care.

That’s it. Lesson 101: To live a less demanding life.

“If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Is it true? I said it but I did not believe in my words at all. When he told me he’s going to get married soon, it was like I dropped my heart on the floor while my mind was frozen. My mind was like floating somewhere on the ceiling and it looked at my body staring at the phone and my soul just broke into pieces. But I must keep my words.

“I’m happy for you honestly.”

Things have expiry dates, even promises…

Well, a fuller life, a less demanding life, a live-for-this-moment life never assures to save me from that very moment. I kept my motto. I was not mad at all. Never. That’s no one’s fault. I’m just sad, and that’s my fault..

“Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That’s its balance.”

“You feel good, you feel bad, and these feelings are bubbling from your own unconsciousness, from your own past. Nobody is responsible except you. Nobody can make you angry, and nobody can make you happy.”

Bread sticks and chocolate cinnamon ice cream

I like cinnamon. I like cinnamon flavor in things I bake – cakes, cookies, drinks and even ice cream. One of my most favourite drinks when I’m sick or not in good mood is like this

  • 1 cup hot milk
  • 2 tsp honey
  • few slices of fresh ginger
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon powder

There you are. In a bad day, grab a cup and make it for yourself, then sink in your own world with a good book. For me it’s much better than going out and spending money for shopping. Well, this is from an introvert’s point of view 🙂

So, like I just said, I like cinnamon. I do like ice cream with cinnamon. However, it seems like I am the only one who likes it. No one in my family and friends and colleagues like my chocolate cinnamon ice cream. But I am sure that cinnamon goes very well with chocolate, just like cinnamon is best friend of banana. Here is the recipe

  • 1,5 cups whole milk
  • 2 cups heavy cream
  • 200 gr dark chocolate, melted
  • 1/4 cup corn syrup
  • 1 tsp cinnamon

Mix them all and refrigerate for at least 4 hours before do as your ice cream machine’s instructions. Then you have your dark choc cinnamon ice cream. I’m sorry I don’t have any picture by now. However, may I suggest you one more thing that also goes well with this ice cream?

Bread sticks! Yeah!

  • 3 1/4 cups all-purposed flour (~430 gr)
  • 1 1/2 tsp instant dry yeast
  • 1 1/2 cup warm water
  • 1 1/2 tsp salt
  • 2 tbsp white sugar
  • 3 tbsp olive oil or vegetable oil
  • 2 tsp mixture of oregano, basil and paprika powder (optional, sorry I did put them in my bread sticks just because I love the smell of these leaves)
  • 2 tbsp margarine for brushing after bake

Instructions

  • Mix warm water + yeast + 1 tbsp sugar together, let stay for 10 mins.
  • Mix well flour, salt, 1 tbsp sugar, leaves and paprika powder together, then combine the flour mixture with the yeast mixture, and the olive oil too.
  • Knead for 7-10 mins until the dough is elastic and just a bit sticky.
  • Form a ball and put into a greased big bowl, cover with plastic wrap. Let stay for 1 hour or until double size.
  • Preheat the oven at 175 degree C.
  • Then you have 750 gr dough. Divide into 30 small balls (25 gr each) and roll into 9″ stick. Place them 1″ away from each other. Let rise for 30 mins.
  • Bake in 12-15 mins until golden. Brush the hot bread sticks with margarine.
  • Serve warm with chili sauce and mayonnaise, or with the chocolate cinnamon ice cream!
  • Store in airtight container. If you want, you can fry them. It doesn’t sound really healthy but just like doughnuts, it tastes awesome!

Here are minesL1080076I know it sounds weird. Bread sticks are slight salty and have “pizza” flavor – i mean the leaves. But trust me, it goes very well with the chocolate cinnamon ice cream. Just like hot french fries go well with McDonald soft ice cream cone…

You know there are lovely & cute things that always remind you about someone. But when “someone” left you, those things you love become things you used to love. Anyway if you never try this before, I highly recommend you to try it someday 🙂

Cheers,

Boo

This life is tough. This world is crazy.

No matter what happened to you. The world keep spinning. People keep moving. Your coworkers keep working on their stuff. They still party!

No matter how hurt you’re suffering. No matter how stressed you are or how much work you have to handle. Your beloved one left you? Your family member passed away? Your boss gave you a bunch of sh*t?

People may stop by to give you a hug, show their sympathy, say few kind words, then they’ll leave you sooner or later.

You can complaint. You can blame. You can cry. You can scream. You can run away. You can hide. You can deny the truth. You can be broken.

But at the end of the day, you have to stand up and be your own hero, and probably your family’s hero. Deal with it. Face with it. This is the only choice you have. Then you will find your inner strength that you’re stronger and tougher than you thought.

I’m sorry dear. This life is tough. This world is crazy.

To love at all is to be vulnerable.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

-C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves-

Source: Zenpencils.com

It’s risky to low down the guard and let someone get close to yourself because living fearlessly for this moment might hurt you badly. But you know, I read somewhere that

It’s exciting when you find parts of yourself in someone else.

and it’s completely true 🙂

To Live is to Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. Trust. Hope. Love. Wish. Believe.